Oh what a day

Allison,

5/6/2014

Today seemed like it would never end. Work just seemed to drag on forever. I hate days like that because I just want to hurry up and get home so I can be with you and your daddy! But it did finally end - so here we are :) you had a pretty bad day today, daycare said you were really fussy. I feel so bad for you. We got a new prescription for a new reflux medicine and we started it tonight. We will see how it works. I hope it gives you some relief - you are still going to be getting your gas relief medicine also. If we can get your gas relief and reflux relief - you'll be the happiest baby on the planet, I'm pretty sure! Your smile is intoxicating so I hope you are able to be happier more often - the world could run on your smiles, I am pretty sure. 

After I got off work, I picked you up and met your daddy on town. While I was at my 2nd job, you and your daddy went and hung out with grandma Peggy. She loves you so much - she just can't get enough of you. I hope she is around until you're old enough to make some lasting memories with her. She's such an amazing woman and did such a fantastic job making your daddy the amazing man he is. 

This weekend I am really hoping to go through and get all your newborn and 0-3 clothes sorted and put away; you're too big for them. It's going to be an emotional day I am sure because you growing up isn't something I like to face. However, you'll be 11 weeks old on Saturday so I really think it's time to start you sleeping in your own crib - at least during nap times so you can get used to it. While I'm not thrilled about you sleeping in the other room, once we get your reflux under control I won't be worried about you throwing up in your sleep anymore. And you're very mobile and can move your head and you don't have a problem rolling so I am confident you won't have a problem sleeping in your crib like a big girl :) I will probably cry that night - I'm a big softie when it comes to you. I have never in my life cared about such little things like I do about you. But; you have to grow up and I can't keep you a 6lb14oz newborn forever! So that is the plan for this weekend - get your room in order so you can sleep in your crib. Really, your nursery is too beautiful to not use - that's true. I will take pictures this weekend. I think you'll like it more than sleeping in the pack and play next to our bed. You have a pretty glittery butterfly mobile I made you in here :) 

Ok beautiful girl, you're asleep so I am going to move you now before my arm is asleep for too long and it won't wake up! 

I love you,

Mom

Fussy pants

Allison,

Today has not been your best day (haha). You have been very tired all day so you've been very, very fussy. We took a bath tonight and that put you in a better mood. Your smile is SO big when we get in the bathtub - other than right now when we sit and rock, that is my favorite time with you. Just me and you hanging out - you sit and play, kicking in the water and watching your little rubber Ducky float around the tub. It cracks me up every time. Tonight you went under for a split second - scared me to death and I was so sure you would start screaming. You didn't. In fact, you grinned and then kept trying to put your face in the water. I would just like to say now if you become an Olympic swimmer, I totally called it! I tell you every bath that you're like a little fish and I see you loving the water in your older years. I will make sure you get swimming lessons as soon as you're old enough.

After your bath, we got you all snug into your pajamas and now here I am, rocking you. Have been for almost an hour now. It's almost 11:15pm so I am not all that thrilled we got you ready for bed so late - but we were visiting your great grand-mother so we got home a bit later than normal. 

You enjoyed church today - so much so that you fell asleep in the middle of the choir singing! How many babies can sleep with that loud noise going on?! Mine can! haha 

You're finally asleep in my arms - so since it's so late this is a short and sweet letter.

I will start writing more often - I want to make sure you have a book as thick as the dictionary to read when you're old enough. 

I love you my darling

Xoxox

Mom

PS - you turned 10 weeks old yesterday!! I'm so sad because time is going by so fast :(

 

Lullaby

Allison,      04-29-2014

Here we are again tonight in our little time away from everything. Just me and you. Tonight when I kiss the top of your forehead I can feel the little hair buds coming in and I can't help but realize this time is going to be over before I'm ready for it to be. I look around and see the tummy time mats, the rocker/vibrating chair, your changing table -- the 0-3 month clothes. I know these little moments we share won't be here forever. And I really wish I could immortalize this time somehow. 

And I honestly think you would find it insane that I would want to delay your growth at this time of your life; you're colicky and you scream for hours and sometimes you just can't be soothed - and I am honestly, oddly, ok with it. Because when you settle down and hush off to sleep you are just everything I true for years to have. Every scream, every year, every noise you make - it's blissful perfection. A little background, which we will get more into as the letters progress, I was never supposed to have kids. Which I guess was never a big deal because I never really wanted any - I was very much a free spirit and was honestly afraid. I had enough of a time trying to make room in my schedule for my dog (Radley is my first baby, and I hope that he is around long enough for you to make memories with him - he has brought so much joy into my life) I never thought I could find room for a baby. And oh I was horrible with money -- who are we kidding, I still am. I just have more of it to be horrible with these days. Well, did -- until we had you :) Anyway - after I met your daddy, I knew I met the man I could start a family with. So we did. And it was not easy. But you're finally here. Nothing you do is ugly to me. I love every face, noise, emotion, and anything else you can throw at me. 

Being a mom isn't all rainbows and glitter - don't get me wrong.  But at the end of the day I am so blessed you're even here I can't help but take in every single second of the experience - both good and not so good. 

And right now, these times? They're the best ever. I can think of every amazing experience of my life and nothing tops this time I get to spend with you while you're falling asleep to your lullaby radio and laying so still and silent in my arms. For this 30 minutes (or longer if I stretch it out...) you're all mine and I don't have to share you with anyone. Every kiss on your forehead, little coo and little smile you give as you drift away is all mine. No one else gets that. 

Well it's time for me to lay you down now so this will be ended for tonight. I'm going to include a picture from daycare today - yes, you're in daycare and you LOVE it. This picture will forever be one of my favorites - you are such a happy baby and you're just beyond precious :) 

I love you, Miss Allison 

Love, Mom